You Never Owe Anyone an Explanation for Anything
Your Marriage is Your Marriage. Your Divorce is Your Divorce!
There isn’t a right way to go through your divorce. There isn’t a “prescribed” timeline wherein a divorce “should be” completed.
Every divorce scenario is unique. Rushed decisions often lead to regret. Just as a “one size fits all” t-shirt really doesn’t “fit all,” so it is with divorce. Here’s a short list of some of the things which need resolved.
- Parent / Child relationships. Will one person act as a primary parent or both?
- Custody arrangements. What parenting times work best for your situation?
- Schedules and availability. Who will take care of the children if you’re not available during your parenting time?
- Financial assets and outstanding debts.
- Division of marital property and the family home.
- Health insurance for yourself and the children.
- Current and future shared expenses.
It took more than a few months to bring your family to where it is today. And so, it may take more than a few months to dissolve what’s been created. Trust your instincts and timing. Doing it right the first-time matters! If your soon to be ex-spouse is applying pressure to get things wrapped up, explore why this might be.
I’ve come to learn that whenever people are in a rush to get things “taken care of” it’s usually because there’s something hiding right beneath your level of awareness. Something they’d rather you not know about.
Are there financial details that he/she doesn’t want you to discover? Could there be another person who’s romantically involved with your partner?
Don’t fail to over look the fact that dissolving a marriage also brings a great deal of mixed emotions. Even if the divorce is a mutual decision – it’s still a loss! You’re going to have difficult days when grief will take you by surprise.
Give yourself an adequate amount of time to do your due diligence. This simply means do your homework and don’t take shortcuts! You need to get intimately familiar with all your marital details. Gaining full awareness of all your details takes time.
The decisions you make throughout this process will impact your future, and the future of your children, for years to come. Let time be on your side so you can feel assured that you did it right, the first time!